Brittney Griner, the WNBA star who endured almost 10 months in a Russian prison two years ago, revealed that she had contemplated suicide during the initial phase of her confinement.
“I did. I didn’t think I could make it through everything I needed to,” Griner explained during a recent ABC News report on 20/20. Reflecting on her struggles, she revealed that the thought of her loved ones’ reaction to her death compelled her to push aside those dark thoughts and instead focus on persevering through it all.”
In February 2022, Griner, a renowned 33-year-old WNBA All-Star and two-time Olympic gold medalist, encountered a setback at a security checkpoint. Upon her arrival in Russia, where possession of cannabis is considered a grave offense, authorities discovered two cartridges of cannabis oil in her backpack. Although the substance is legal in Arizona, where she resides and competes for the Phoenix Mercury, she was charged with drug-related offenses and potentially faced a daunting sentence of up to 10 years in a notorious penal colony.
During her hourlong interview with Robin Roberts, Griner experienced moments of deep emotion as she recounted the fear that overwhelmed her, the horrifying conditions she endured, and the terrifying thought of never being able to return to the United States.
Griner also shared passages from her upcoming memoir, titled “Coming Home,” during the interview. The memoir dives into her experiences of being detained in Russia and is set to be released on Tuesday.
Like many WNBA athletes, Griner also spends her off-season playing overseas. For the past seven years, she has been a part of a Russian team, where she earned a staggering $1 million salary. This amount is approximately five times more than what she makes in the WNBA.
“I didn’t even realize the cannabis was in my luggage,” she admitted, explaining that she uses it to alleviate her pain. In a rush to pack her bag after oversleeping, she inadvertently overlooked the presence of the cannabis oil. It was only during a security check at the Moscow airport, as she was about to catch a connecting flight, that the oil was discovered. Griner likened the situation to misplacing car keys or losing a pair of glasses, acknowledging her mistake without making any excuses.”
During the conversation with Roberts, Griner, who had curly hair instead of her usual long dreadlocks, admitted that she was aware of the fact that cannabis was illegal in Russia. She candidly shared, “I knew that” cannabis was illegal in Russia. She then proceeded to read a passage from her book, where she expressed her genuine surprise, saying, “Honest to God, I just totally forgot the pen was in my bag.”
She confided in Roberts, admitting that the realization of having cannabis with her felt like the ground had been ripped from beneath her. In that moment, she believed her life was ruined. She couldn’t help but question how she could have been so absent-minded to make such a colossal mistake. The weight of her actions became all too real, and she could see everything she had worked so hard for slowly falling apart.
After being detained, she was in a state of panic and immediately reached out to her wife, Cherelle Griner, and her agent for assistance. She ended up being held at a notoriously harsh prison, where she was confined to a cramped 7-foot-by-7-foot cell. The bed provided was too small for her 6-foot-9-inch frame, and the cell featured a sink and a hole in the floor that served as a toilet.
Griner recounted how she had to tear up one of the limited T-shirts she possessed in her cell, repurposing it as a makeshift washcloth due to the absence of proper toiletries.
“I felt like I was stripped of my humanity,” she expressed.
A week later, when Russia invaded Ukraine, the feeling of never returning home started to engulf me.
According to Griner, the breakfast at the facility consisted of porridge that was so thick it resembled cement. The dinner served was a small piece of fish that was filled with bones, leaving much to be desired. She also mentioned that the mattress she slept on had a large blood stain on it. In terms of basic necessities, Griner stated that she was only given one roll of toilet paper per month, and there were even times when they didn’t receive any at all. Furthermore, the toothpaste provided to her had expired 15 years prior.
She mentioned that the most challenging days were when she had to endure the freezing Russian winter for as long as two hours, left outside.
In her book, she bravely shared, “There were moments when I contemplated taking my own life, feeling an overwhelming desire to escape this world.”
After 134 days, Griner went to trial and pleaded guilty. According to Griner, the reason behind her guilty plea was to take ownership of what happened.
She received a nine-year sentence and was subsequently sent to a more severe penal colony.
“I had to do what I had to do to survive,” she stated.
Throughout this time, her wife, WNBA family, and fans tirelessly advocated for her, ensuring that her name and case remained in the public consciousness. They launched a powerful social media campaign, observed moments of silence during games, and even reached out to President Joe Biden for support. Griner acknowledged the efforts made on her behalf, which served as a source of encouragement. However, she also admitted that hearing numerous praises about herself made her feel as though she was observing her own funeral.
Finally, there was a glimmer of hope for her release. The Biden administration expressed a desire to secure her freedom, along with Paul Whelan, a former U.S. Marine who had been detained in Russia since 2018. The plan was to negotiate their release in exchange for Russians held in U.S. prisons.
Russia, however, did not include Whelan, who they believe to be a spy, in any agreement. The United States has consistently argued that Whelan has been unjustly detained in Russia. On December 8, 2022, Griner was released after reluctantly penning a letter of contrition addressed to Russian President Vladimir Putin. This exceptional prisoner exchange involved Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout, famously referred to as the “Merchant of Death,” ultimately bringing an end to Griner’s harrowing experience.
“If I had the power, I would have included Paul and brought him home,” she expressed. “No one should be left behind.”
Despite the fact that she has put the harrowing experience behind her, she continues to face racist and homophobic taunts, both in person and on social media.
“It’s been happening for quite some time,” Griner acknowledged. “I used to try and push it out of my mind, thinking that it would just go away. However, I’ve come to realize that suppressing these feelings is not the right approach. Thankfully, I have a strong sense of self, and the support of my community is invaluable. The people around me truly understand and accept me for who I am, and that’s all that matters to me.”
As she discussed the lasting effects of her arrest and time in prison, Griner became emotional. “I still haven’t fully overcome it,” she admitted tearfully. “I feel like I disappointed everyone. People tell me to be kind to myself and forgive myself, but it’s incredibly difficult for me.”